November 22nd, 2002

quisic card

(no subject)

I'm really sad.

don flew in from phoenix this morning to announce they're closing our office on january 17th. alberto's last day was today, and others will leave here and there until the door is locked one last time. steven (who lives in the 909 and works from home three days a week anyway) is going to be staying on from home full time. marie and jon are actually in phoenix for yesterday's open house, and got asked to relocate, which they're not. I got asked again too, even though don knew the answer.

I apologized to everyone today for being such an asshole: I spent half of yesterday giving pep talks and trying to diffuse the fear over yet another last-minute visit from senior management. turns out they were right.

it's hard to explain how this makes me feel. I'm not in the industry I'm in because in the mid to late '90s my high school guidance counselor or college advisor said IT is where the money is... I got my first computer when I was 11 (an IBM PC, pre-XT, if you're counting) and have known my calling ever since. this is what I do. when EDT acquired the remains of quisic in june, they gave me the chance I've always wanted: to run the show at a company the right size for a handful of people to steer. since then, I've eaten, slept, and breathed IT for this company because I believed in what we were doing and because I wanted it to work.

the months since then have been tough. I started with a staff of five including myself, handling the needs of clients and about 60 people in three states... today, it's just jon and I, with about the same number of people in four states. maybe it was naive to think things would ever smooth out.

so anyway, I'm pretty crushed. the people I've worked with for the last 18 months turn out some pretty incredible work, and I've poured my heart and soul into doing my part. tried to make things more reliable, tried to simplify things, tried to educate them... tried to make their jobs easier. that's why IT is around, you know, to make everyone else's job easier. I think that point gets lost in the us vs. them crap most of the time. yeah, there's annoyance and cluelessness to go around, but if you don't ultimately want to be there to help, you're in the wrong line of work.

I think everyone in the office got a definitive course laid out for them today except me. they're definitely going to be hiring someone into my position in the phoenix office, but I might be asked to stay on remotely in some other capacity. I'm not sure how I feel about that... I've got this sense of betrayal right now that I haven't been able to shake. I suppose I'll have time to come out of shock and think more clearly about things before any decisions have to be made.

moving forward, there are a lot of projects I'd like to see finished before someone else steps in to take over... if jon and I can leave things more orderly than we found them, I'll be content. I didn't get anything done today, but hopefully monday it won't be so hard to get back to work.

I guess this weekend I'll update my resume. if anyone needs a competent, slightly careworn IT professional in the LA area, apparently I'm in the market.