Yeah, I'm not cool like you. I say stupid things and have the confidence
of a fucking beetle. I think women are these mystifying creatures in
which I will never be able to dabble in again. I'm fucked up inside,
and I know the shit I say to you is stupid, and the way I act sometimes
is retarded. I wish I could just be chill like you, I wish I had your
confidence. I'd trade my intelligence, my smarts, my geekiness for it in a
second. How fucked up is that? I would trade my livelihood for the ability
to have friends abound. I'm not one of those people who many people can
tolerate. I'm opinionated almost to a fault, and I'm egotistical in some
fucked up way. You might ask, how I can be egotistical and not have any
self confidence? It's because of my opinions, and the way I *will* put
you down if you don't agree with me. Its my way of putting you down when
you do something stupid. It's my way of bringing you down to my level,
so that I can have some confidence over you. I'm fucked up like that,
and I'm sorry. I just want to be like you, I swear.
You've been a good friend in the ways that you can be a good friend. I know
that I fail sometimes. I'm not that fun to hang out with. I'm too serious
and too lame. I don't have any other friends to bring over and make a party.
I'm not social enough to turn any situation into anything enjoyable. If I
can be a part of the equation, sometimes I come out decent, but never if I
have to have the initiative. I'm just shitty like that. Thanks for not
telling me off, thanks for not ever really letting me know of the shit
that comes out of me, spewing sometimes like a river that you wish you could
just escape.
I've been a good friend in that no matter what, no matter what, I will
always be there for you. In a drop of a hat, and this is the only thing I
really have to offer, I will do anything for you, I will do *ANYTHING* One
of my redeeming qualities, of the short few that I do possess is my
selflessness and the deep rooted idea in me that the friends I do have, who
have stayed my friends no matter how stupid I get, are the MOST
IMPORTANT things to my in my life. No matter what, that will never change. I
will bend over backwards if I can. I will do anything you ask, just be my
friend.
This is an ode to my friends. Thanks for putting up with my downfalls and
realizing that even though I lack sometimes, I try real hard to be a
person that everyone can like, and I know I don't have to try, but I can't
help it, I don't like who I am. I'll try so hard, every day, to be like you,
and to be better then who I am inside. I want to be like you. Please forgive
me for that.
Yeah, I know I'm not cool like you, but even if I ever does come to pass
that you stop being 'cool' in the eyes of everyone else, I will still
revere you and compliment you as much as I can. That's what I do, that's who
I am. I will never let you forget that you 'mean' something to me. I will
never stop saying thank you for being my friend, I will never stop saying
thank you for the littlest thing you do for me, because I do
appreciate it, so very very much. I will never stop being your friend, even
if the world turns is back on you. I'm not that person, and despite all my
faults, I hope I am always your friend.
This is an ode to my friends.
(from even deeper) |
