Rest In Peace, King Kirby
Vector Tomorrowspring paced the wall of his anti-gravity room, high above the Pacific Northwest. “Dunder and Toddle!” he swore his future-swear. “My atom-toast is late again!” There was a series of time-knocks at the door, like gentle fist-driven rain. It was the maid.
“Mr. Vector!” she said. “There was a future-crisis among the chrono-ponies! I am so sorry that I am-”
“Late? Late? Of course you are. The chrono-ponies are breaking everything! But no worries, for now there is the Oregon Scientific JM888A Como Outdoor Atomic RF Wall Clock to re-align our time-space astro-line!”
“Oh!” the maid gasped, momentarily turning to dust and back again.
“Come, come, young lady! No time for that! Observe the waterproof shell! The sunproof… shell! The gardenproof…”
”...Shell?” the maid replied timidly.
Vector spun on his future-heel, indignant at the spill of un-past upon his grand designs. “May Chrom heap dunder and toddle upon these non-local chrono-ponies! I suppose the break in the atomo-net pulled back the curtain of yestermorrow and revealed the large easy to read LCD screen to you as well? And the Ultra-violet detecto-scope built in? What say you in answer, woman-beast? Speak if you dare!”
The maid stared at him, confused, tomorrow-scented future-tears beginning to atomic-drip down her retro-covered space-nose.
“All I wanted was a good clock, Mr. Vector! That’s all I ever wanted! That’s all I ever wanted from anyone! Even you!”
Vector nodded with a quiet, sad intelligence as the maid ran from the room. “That’s all any of us wanted, darling. That’s what got us into this… madness!”
I bought two.
[edit: Jill, you may want to go argue with the guy that made this comment in the discussion forum:
Oregon AND scientific?